The Greatest Intramural Basketball Team of All Time-Part I

    Rarely do intramural basketball teams evoke comparisons to NBA squads.  Most of the time these teams, especially those in fraternity leagues where most of the players go semesters without working out and spend more time at bars than in the gym, seem to compare better to a 14 year old Y-ball league.  With the Sigma Nu fraternity team (the real team), this is not the case.  The Sigma Nu hoopsters remind basketball junkies of great teams who never won a championship such as the 2006-2007 Suns and the Jazz of the 90's.  Over the next few days, I will give a breakdown of every Snake baller with their professional counterpart.  Hopefully you will enjoy.

Bryan Basnight
     When most people watch Big Game in action and see the way he tenatiously attacks the boards, they would like to compare him to Sir Charles, Moses Malone or The Worm.  Sure, these three payers rebounding abilities do compare to those of Mantis, but they do not completely optimize his game.  Another comparison that the Oracle has been known to receive is none other than the star of Kazam himself, Shaq Daddy, for his woes at the stripe. I think this is the worst comparison of all because Basilisk is a much more skilled free throw shooter than Shaquille (not to mention a better hip-hop performer). Some much less creative minds might just compare Biohazard to his brother Brett, mainly because of their similar (identical) looks and the fact that Brett was also once a Snake standout.
     All of these are admirable comparisons, but only one NBAer gets my nod as the professional version of DJ Whyte Hype, Tiago Splitter.  The 6'11" Brazilian may not be a starter like his intramural counterpart, but Splitter has many of the same qualities and skills that you see in the extremely underrated game of Magnum.  The rebounding ability, the defensive prowess, the motor that is constantly running, and, most importantly, the ability to snag females off the court (I'm not sure Splitter does this but if you Google: "Tiago Splitter girlfriend" or "Tiago Splitter wife" there are some outstanding looking females).  Splitter's playoff struggles from the line also add to the comparability of the two (The Thunder employed the "Hack-a-Shaq" strategy on Splitter in Game 2 of the WCF), but this is not what defines the comparison.  What defines the comparison is the hustle (and flow) of the two big men and the intensity in which they attack the glass.
    The Great Risk Manager is the glue that binds the Snake team together.  His hustle, his relentless rebounding, his occasional struggles at the charity stripe, and his ability to get the ladies back to his floorton are the foundation that the Sigma Nu hoops dynasty is built on.